Cue: Instrumental version of Land of the Free
Narrator: Our nation was founded on values like freedom and security.
Cue: Busy 22nd century thoroughfare
Narrator: But today, your freedom is under threat, from every driver flying over your house. Are you tired of being woken up at 2 in the morning by some jerk on a joyride?
Cue: Hassled 40ish man struggling looking left right up and down before moving his car one inch.
Are you tired of struggling to get out of your own home in the morning because you can’t find space to lift your car.
Do you long for the good old days when you could rise up from your drive way into the sky without a care in the world?
Then take back your freedom today with General American Avionics’ Airspace Away. With these babies in you front yard. No pusher will dare fly over your home.
Cue: Interior shot of happy family and sleeping baby
Narrator: You and your family will enjoy the peace and comfort you deserve.
Order the General American Avionics’ Airspace Away now for only $50,000.
How do we do it so cheap?
Easy. Our researchers have uncovered hundreds of old patents for American made Patriot missiles. Buy one today. Bring out the Patriot in you!